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Teaching Children and Teens How To Control Anger



Help Your Child or Teen Deal with Anger Management Issues

He’s locked himself in his bedroom and it feels like he hasn’t come out of it in weeks.

You never see him anymore, and the only sign of his presence in your home is the constant blaring of angry rock music and the loud banging of his bedroom door. You start to wonder what happened to the baby boy you lovingly raised, only to become a distant and raging teenager.

For other parents, it can be much worse – sometimes the anger starts even before their kids become teenagers. Whatever the case, the important question is how a parent can help his child cope with his anger.

For starters, it’s best to help your child to manage his anger as soon as possible. The earlier you are able to help him deal with possible anger management issues, the better.

If you notice his anger, deal with it immediately.

As kids grow up, they change in many different ways. But, if the changes they undergo lead to them becoming angrier and self-destructive, it’s best to pay attention and immediately find a way to execute an intervention. If you think your child has the potential to obtain anger management issues, begin preventive efforts as soon as possible.

Early Intervention is Key to an Effective Solution

The reason why it’s effective and therefore extremely important to help your child or teen deal with his anger management issues as early as possible because it’s best to deal with the causes of his anger before it becomes too deeply rooted in him and thereby possibly seriously affecting his personality and self-esteem.

Dealing with anger management issues is like dealing with an open wound – the more you expose it and allow it to get damaged, the bigger and the more harmful the wound gets. If you notice something bothering your child or teen, encourage him to open up and share what’s worrying him.

Don’t wait until the anger is too deeply rooted in him that he’s blocked you out emotionally, making it that much harder for him to accept your help and open up.  Help him out while he’s still open and willing to talk about his issues.

So you’ve noticed that something’s wrong with your child or teen and you’re ready and willing to help him deal with them. What do you do now?

Set aside the “I told you so” Speech for Another Time

When your kids or teens have problems, whether they have come upon them beyond their control or due to a mistake they’ve committed, they don’t need a lecture from you – telling them “I told you so.”  This only makes them feel even more hurt, confused, self-conscious, and possibly, more angry.

Set the criticism – no matter how constructive – aside for a while, and in the meantime, listen to what they have to say. Allow them to freely vent their emotions – doing so will let them realize that they can trust you with their feelings, and that they can be open and honest with you without the risk of being at the receiving end of a harrowing lecture.

Remember that keeping an open and constant communication line between you and your kid keeps him from shutting you out and leaving you without a clue as to what is going on with your child.

Encourage Your Child or Teen to Engage in Activities That Will Allow Them to Let Off Steam

You may not believe it, but kids and teens also experience stress. What with the demands of school, a social life, as well as the physical and emotional changes that are all part of growing up (half of which they almost always have no clue about) being a kid can be just as stressful as being an adult. So it’s important that you provide your children and teens with an outlet where they can safely and effectively vent out their frustrations and let off steam.

Encourage your child or teen to learn and participate in a sport, or enroll him into music lessons. Let him try a myriad of activities until he finds one that he likes and enjoys. To him it may just be for fun, but you’ll know that his hobby or after-school activity also helps him release all that stress that might otherwise be bundled up inside until it erupts – and that is not a pretty picture for a parent. 

If you find yourself unable to help your child with his anger management issues, don’t be afraid to seek the help of professionals or experts. Remember that your first priority should always be the safety and well-being of your child or teen.